Unraveling

I really had a good feeling about this month at the beginning. All the shitty things happened last month and this month I am left with the residual stress. I have been an emotional wreck for weeks now. My dad and I got in our first argument since I have been living at home in which I turned into a petulant teenager, yelling and stomping around. It was a really magical moment for me. Luckily since I am not actually a petulant teenager I was able to put myself in a time out and think about the problem and come back with a reasonable solution instead of just writing in my diary about how much I hate my parents because they don't understand me. So I guess that's a win for adulthood.

I have accomplished nothing I set out to this month and I feel really shitty about that. I did try to write my essay for Partners in Health but like always I let things get in the way of finishing it. So the due date came and went. That was really dumb of me. I also haven't gotten back to any of the places I wanted to volunteer at. I am blaming most of that on work since my work hours do not at all coincide with the times I would be volunteering.

Which brings me to my next idea; quitting my job. I am so tired of the restaurant it is unreal. It's possible that I am feeling generally restless and it's not really my job's fault. It's just not at all what I want to be doing with my time. I'm trying to figure out a way I can just volunteer and baby sit which are things I actually enjoy. Today Sophia and I did the hokey pokey all afternoon and it was the best afternoon I've had since my birthday. I don't know if it's going to be economically feasible but I think I am going to go crazy if I keep working at the restaurant 5 days a week and going to school in the evenings.

I also need to get the fuck out of Portland. I want to go back to Haiti for spring break but that hasn't been worked out at all. So we'll see.

I'm now going to try and accomplish something. So many papers to write this week....