Wednesday, January 11, 2012

There will always be excuses

I feel like I keep making excuses for not working on more of my January goals but I have a good one this time; I scratched my cornea on Saturday morning and spent the weekend in the dark because my eyes were too light sensitive to be around any light. Awesome right? I had so many things planned to do over the weekend and I just failed at them all. Full disclosure: It probably is my fault I scratched my cornea. I drank too much on Friday night and slept in my contacts and then had to peel them off eye extremely dry eyes in the morning. So my bad. Good news is that after spending 3 hours in the ER just waiting in a dark room with my eyes watering, they gave me antibiotic eye drops and vicodin. More good news, I am finally over the ear infection/cold thing I've been fighting for almost 3 weeks now! I'd say my health is back to like 90% of what it used to be and I'm ready to move the fuck on.

Things I've done this week to get a move on:
  • E-mail a woman with Metro Family Services about volunteering with their after school child care/homework help program.
  • E-mail my aunt about volunteer connections she has.
  • Bought a French activity book which I subsequently left in someones car but will get back soon!
  • Used my planner.
  • Answered most of my e-mails. 
Things I've done this week that probably set me back:
  • Drank too much on Friday and Tuesday.
  • Started watching a marathon of the British show Shameless.
  • Downloaded new time sucking apps for my phone.
  • Spent too much time thinking about being under qualified.
Five steps forward, four steps back. At least I'm being honest. 

Got a long e-mail from the boy on Saturday which was very exciting since he does not always have a chance to write very much. It was also intimidating because every time I talk to him or read his longer e-mails, I realize more how freaking incredible, smart and thoughtful he is and I start feeling under-qualified for him too. I am sure he doesn't see me that way but it is a huge insecurity for me which I am trying to work on. I know I need to change my way of thinking to "how awesome it is that we are both awesome people who have so much to learn from each other." I'm also jealous that he is already where I want to be doing the kind of things I want to be doing. Fuel to my "getting-shit-done" fire I guess.

Also the fabulous Christa started a facebook thread with me, Abby, and Alex which is fantastic. They are a group on ladies I am amazingly lucky to know. They are all so driven and dedicated to everything they do. I love hearing about all the things they are doing from working in Haiti to starting a scholarship fund for Haitian kids to raising a family (and trying to add to it!!). Thanks ladies for adding to my inspiration!

Goals for the rest of this week/weekend:
  • Being writing internship essays without putting pressure on myself to make them perfect. Just write whatever I feel like writing about and improve them later.
  • Spend at least 2 hours working on French.
  • Run a DARS report for both of my majors and map out my last 5 terms of school.
  • Do not get excessively drunk at Claire's birthday party on Friday.
  • Finish my readings for my classes for the week.
  • Go on a hike. (weather permitting)
  • Hang out with Bri & Gio & kiddos.
  • Write more in this blog about my awesome classes/awesome book I'm reading.
Specific goals. Things I can check off the list. Things are looks up this week!

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