Last term was not good for me. I have never performed so poorly in my academic career. There were a lot of things going on for me that I was not able to deal with in a productive way and I ended up spending most of my time drinking, partying and sleeping through class. First of all my roommate of 5 years and close friends of 8 years was pregnant. Obviously this was a big fucking deal for her but it also had implications for my life. Clearly, I had to find a new place to live. So I moved into my coworker and friends house for 2 months. It was great, I loved living with them and their daughter but obviously it wasn't long term. In lieu of any other plan, I moved home. It was 2 months of moving and cleaning while trying to start a new term of school and it was fucking stressful physically and emotionally. I felt like I was dealing with everything by myself (even though I know this isn't true). I also felt like I had to do everything Alisa couldn't to because she was pregnant. This was the unhealthy part of my year of saying yes to things. I said yes to dumb things like getting drunk even though I had class in the morning. Yes to afternoon mimosas instead of afternoon study sessions. Yes to a whole range of things I wouldn't have ordinarily done. Some things turned out well; I said yes to going to LA for a week and ended up meeting the boy which was awesome. I said yes to hanging out with my friends all the time so I feel like I got closer to a lot of people. I said yes to adventure Mondays which are so much fun! But there were plenty of things that suffered. My grades plummeted, I finally looked at my grades tonight and I got an A-, D and F. I've never failed anything in my life. The bigger down side to this is that unless I can be really creative and spend a lot of time convincing various advisers of things, I may have tacked on another term to my academic careers. Rad. My liver suffered. My bank account suffered. My good judgement suffered and put me in some questionable situations. Basically, I was not good to myself and forgot to think about the long term ramifications of my decisions.
Now I feel like I am back on track. I remembered what I am working for. And now I have to work even harder to get there. The upside is I am feeling emotionally healthier and happier. I am waking up in the morning and getting shit done. Even though I have spent all of January sick or injured, I am still doing better than I was in the fall. I am getting better at using self restraint and not getting belligerently drunk. I look forward to waking up without a hangover more than I look forward to partying. I am reading more and doing more of the things I feel make me, me. Which is great. Although running my transcript reports was slightly saddening, at least I can be realistic about myself and my goals. And even though I'm going to do everything I can to graduate in the spring of 2013, maybe graduating in the summer of 2013 isn't the worst thing in the world.
These are the things I have done this weekend:
Actually wrote & posted the required online responses for my 250 class. (I never do online responses, required or not, so this is big)
Ran my transcript report
Applied to volunteer with the Red Cross & Impact Northwest
Wrote the first of two essays for the Partners in Health application
Did a ton of reading for all my classes
Attempted again to get my French book back
Penciled out the financing of a 2 week study abroad program in Nicaragua
These are the things I need to get done this week:
COVER LETTERS (yes, I am putting them off as long as possible. Which is dumb.)
Make an appointment with the career center.
Finish The Resilient Child
Get next set of books from Kim
Do something outdoorsy
Stop being sick
This story made me realize that I spent too long in the waiting place and that nothing will even happen there. So I leave you all with this video which made me happy, inspired and want to go to Burning Man.
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